By: Kyle Smith, Marketing Intern
Becoming an Urgent Care Advocate in August 2019 isn’t when Nika Cotton’s journey with Reconciliation Services began.
Nika Cotton, Urgent Care Advocate at Reconciliation Services
“I’ve struggled my entire life with PTSD and anxiety,” Nika said. When a friend told her that RS had free group and individual therapy, she decided to give it a try. After eight weeks in Group Therapy she decided to meet with Sylvia Goodloe, RS Clinical Therapist and REVEAL Program Manager, for individual therapy.
“I never knew that much of my anxiety was related to unaddressed trauma from my past,” Nika said. With Nika, Sylvia used an evidence-based therapeutic modality called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), which is a psychotherapy treatment designed to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories. “EMDR was the first thing someone did with me that provided real relief,” Nika said. “It was the first time in my entire life I’ve been relieved of panic attacks.”
When Nika joined the RS team, she found her personal struggles and victories to be a very real asset in her work with our neighbors. “I know what it's like to have traumatic events in my past and to spiral from time to time,” she said. “I can truly relate to what many of our neighbors are going through and know what it takes to reveal one’s own strength.”
As an Urgent Care Advocate here at RS, Nika works each day with clients to help and encourage them in any way she can – from helping them fill out a job application, working on getting them housing, helping them get medication, to advocating for them.
Nika standing outside RS to greet clients.
During the shelter at home order, Nika has been staying in regular contact with clients, encouraging them and helping them stay connected to the resources they need. She’s been particularly moved by her work with one woman, who became involved with the child social service system. We’ll call her Eleanor to protect her privacy.
Much of the circumstances that led to her child being placed in foster care were out of her control. “Many parents who find themselves in this position don’t understand how to navigate the system, or how to speak up for themselves,” Nika said. “They feel powerless and hopeless.”
Just before COVID-19 hit, The Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS) reduced funding for Parent Aide contractors who facilitate visitation between children in state custody and their parents. Even before the pandemic, visiting hours had been shortened between parents and children in foster care due to the cuts. Now, the shorter visits are only being conducted virtually between parents and their kids in foster care. “It has been humbling for me to go through this process with her,” Nika said.
Nika recognized that what clients like Eleanor really needed was support and encouragement in learning to advocate for themselves so they will be better equipped to navigate the challenges ahead of them.
Helping clients understand the importance of self-advocacy, means helping them understand their strengths and needs, identifying their personal goals, knowing their legal rights and responsibilities, and being able to communicate them to others. For Eleanor, it all started with learning how to speak up for herself. “We went together to a legislative advocacy training with a local organization called Alive and Well to learn how to advocate for ourselves,” said Nika. RS partners with Alive and Well on trauma informed trainings as well.
“RISE ONE MORE TIME
so far you’ve come
but you’re not done
eyes to the skies
rise one more time
watch the stars shine
they hold the line
race against space
take your place
blaze a trail
from where you fell
seeds must fall
then break their shells
birth for all its worth
requires pain first
growth can hurt
labors hard work
the pain comes in waves
stay with the pain
go with the flow
forget all you know
let instincts take control
release and let grow
reach towards the skies
rise one more time
trees must rise
seas must rise
watch the butterflies
see them shine
they hold the line
race against space
take your place
blaze a trail
from where you fell
even stars fall
and stars know it all
it’s your turn to shine
rise one more time ”
Nika remembers the first time she saw this training pay off for Eleanor. “The Department of Child and Family Services had Eleanor go through their required evaluation process. I went with her and met the facilitator and it was clear from our first interaction that he was not socially sensitive, particularly with African American women,” Nika said. “As Eleanor went into the evaluation room alone I asked her if she was going to be okay and she confidently told me, ‘Yes.’”
“After the meeting she was excited to tell me all the ways she stood up for herself, including sharing with the evaluator when he didn’t have the right information or she didn’t feel comfortable. It was one of the first times that she realized that being silent wasn’t helping her,” Nika said.
It may seem like a small win, but the ability to advocate for herself, will enable Eleanor to move into a healthier, more stable, more intentional life of her own making.
“I’m empowered watching her advocate for herself,” Nika said. “It inspires me to want to do more to help those who are working to reform the foster care system so that we can reunite families like hers.”
Nika said she is so thankful for the support she received from RS and honored that now she can pass that strength on and help others. “Once you learn to advocate for yourself, you can begin to advocate for other people,” she said. “This work inspires me to find ways to affect system change so that folks like [Eleanor] and I can help the women who follow in our footsteps lead whole, healthy, happy lives.”
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Reconciliation Services remains open during this COVID 19 crisis, offering essential services like: case management, housing and utilities assistance, ID and document assistance, medical supplies, trauma and depression therapy, and free to-go lunches through Thelma’s Kitchen. Please consider supporting these vital services and donate today.