Uncovering PTSD, Part 2: “I’ve found hope”

By: Kyle J Smith, Marketing Intern

June is PTSD Awareness Month. Each week this month on our blog we will explore the causes and effects of PTSD in low-income urban communities like ours, the evidence-based treatments we are using to help our client guests find healing, and the incredible strength it takes to seek healing and reconciliation. Read Part 1, here.

Nora after a group therapy session.

“Not all the men in my life have been abusive, “ Nora said. “It’s just that it’s hard to trust anyone when your childhood is a living nightmare.” We first shared Nora’s story a few years back. (Trigger warning: Nora’s story contains graphic details of her abuse.)

“You can’t just put it behind you and move on. My dad and grandfather (her abusers) are dead, but I’m still learning to deal with the memories that are alive in my brain.”

The prevalence and pervasiveness of trauma in our community cannot be overlooked. Most adults (87%) in the Kansas City region have experienced trauma in their life, according to the Resilient KC Report (2017). And slightly over half (53%) experienced four or more traumatic events or conditions. 

Trauma is often traced back to early experiences, like Nora’s “living nightmare,” and are referred to as Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs. They include on a personal level: physical and emotional neglect, substance abuse in the household, and having an incarcerated parent. 

But trauma goes beyond just what happens to the individual. Our partners at Alive and Well Communities include two more categories in their trauma-informed care workshops: public events and community trauma.     

Public event trauma includes witnessing violence like a homicide and dramatic community disruption like after a natural disaster. Community trauma is often invisible to the naked eye, but is well-documented in the urban core of Kansas City where poverty, poor housing quality, and discrimination limit our neighbors each day. 

The Resilient KC Report, which was conducted in 2017 across a nine-county, bi-state area, reports: “Studies demonstrated that stressful or traumatic childhood experiences such as abuse, neglect, witnessing domestic violence, or growing up with alcohol/substance abuse, mental illness, parental discord, or crime in the home are a common pathway to social, emotional, and cognitive impairments that lead to increased risk of unhealthy behaviors, violence or revictimization, disease, disability, and premature mortality.”

Via Center for Disease Control and Prevention

Adverse childhood experiences can also lead to a host of negative outcomes later in life, including depression, anxiety, and PTSD, as documented in the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study

PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is a mental health problem that some people develop after experiencing trauma at any point in their life. As Nora said, “I’m still learning to deal with the memories that are alive in my brain.” Of people who have experienced trauma, about 1 in 10 men and 2 in 10 women will develop PTSD. 

The symptoms of PTSD are: 

• reliving the traumatic event 

• avoiding things that remind you of the event 

• having more negative thoughts and feelings than before the event 

• feeling on edge (a stress response that is described as fight, flight, or freeze.) 

The only way to know for sure if you are experiencing PTSD is to talk to a mental health care provider. The REVEAL therapy team here at Reconciliation Services is available if you or someone you know want to start the conversation, call 816-931-4751 x211.

In the “Understanding PTSD” booklet, the National Center for PTSD shares some simple screening questions, starting with: Have you ever experienced a traumatic event? If yes, answer the questions below. In the past month, have you: 

• Had nightmares about the event(s) or thought about the event(s) when you didn’t want to?

• Tried hard not to think about the event(s) or went out of your way to avoid situations that reminded you of the event(s)?

• Been constantly on guard, watchful, or easily startled?

• Felt numb or detached from people, activities, or your surroundings?

• Felt guilty or unable to stop blaming yourself or others for the event(s) or any problems the event(s) may have caused?

If you answered “yes” to 3 or more of these questions, talk to a mental health care provider to learn more about PTSD and PTSD treatment. Answering yes to more than 3 doesn’t mean that you have PTSD, just as answering yes to less than 3 doesn’t mean you don’t–only a mental health care provider can tell you for sure. 

In upcoming blog posts, we’ll talk about the treatments we use here at RS to help reveal the strength of our neighbors who are struggling with PTSD. Many of our neighbors, like Nora, are saddled with the burden of chronic trauma in unimaginable and heart-wrenching ways.

Nora came to RS in 2014 after losing her job, “Things went downhill from there. I lost everything I owned and ended up homeless.” While eating a free meal at RS, Nora connected with Sylvia Goodloe, LCSW, and she signed up for her first Women’s Therapy Group in our REVEAL Program. 

Nora went on to participate in multiple therapy groups. “I realized, for the first time, that I am not alone. Other women have experienced what I have,” she said. “I felt understood, like I had a connection with them. The more we shared with each other the better we all felt.”

By getting treatment for her PTSD, Nora’s strength was revealed and she was able to move forward in her life. Eventually, she got her own home, where she loves to entertain, and she began to volunteer at RS, to give back to the community that helped her make her own way forward and find healing. “I’ve learned how to set boundaries and to say, ‘No.’ I have a greater sense of self worth,” she said.

Nora’s path to healing is a perfect example of why mental health services are at the core of our work to reveal the strength of our neighbors. She says it best, “I’ve found hope and strategies to help me focus on what I want to become.”

>>>>> Subscribe to our Reveal Strength newsletter to read more stories of resilience as we continue our series on PTSD next week and explore the treatments we use here at RS.

Trust: A Foundation for Healing

By: Kyle Smith, Marketing Intern

So many things look and feel different in the wake of COVID 19. We see it keenly in the way that Thelma’s Kitchen has changed, serving free to-go lunches now out of the front door rather than to neighbors gathered around community tables.  

“I miss the daily interaction and camaraderie with the community,” said Frank Zwirlein, Urgent Care Advocate at Reconciliation Services. Frank has been working onsite during the pandemic, meeting with case management clients and assisting neighbors with social services. “I still go down to Thelma’s Kitchen nearly every day, wave to our neighbors, and have conversations from a safe distance.” 

Frank Zwirlein, MSW, Urgent Care Advocate with a volunteer in Thelma’s Kitchen (pre-COVID 19)

Frank began working at RS in August 2019. “When I found the job posting online, I felt for the first time in my life that, not only did I want to work at this place, but I had to.” he said. “I was so moved by the mission and the stories I read about their work in the community.”

After receiving his Masters in Social Work in 2010, he began working in hospice care. His job was to comfort and care for individuals in their final stage of life, easing their suffering and supporting their loved ones as they grieved. 

“When I told people that I worked in hospice they would get a sad look on their face,” he said. “I never found the work depressing though, because while it is immensely difficult, death is a normal part of life.”

Frank said he sees similarities and differences between his previous hospice work and his work at RS. “The goal of both is to provide support -- physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. But to be honest, I’m more sad when I hear our neighbors talk about how difficult their lives can be. While death is natural, there’s nothing natural about the dysfunctional systems and inter-generational injustices that led to their suffering.”   

The importance of relationship building and earning trust in the community cannot be underestimated. “Many of our neighbors don’t have experience being treated with respect and kindness while seeking services,” he said. “But here, there’s a sense of community and such a wonderful mix of people.” 

Frank said he knows that these relationships don’t come easy. “I had to earn that trust and we all had to get to know each other,” he said. As Frank began working alongside neighbors, he said he also had to grow personally. 

“When I started this work I had to confront my own prejudices and stereotypes that I didn’t know existed in me,” Frank said. “Before I started working at RS, I didn’t think my life was sheltered. But now I can see that I did live in a bubble.” Now, he said his worldview has expanded and he shares relationships and trust with people he would never have known before. 

“Part of the reason stereotypes and prejudices exist is because we don’t know each other,” he said. But, at a place like Thelma’s Kitchen and RS where neighbors from different backgrounds, different races, and different parts of town come together, Frank said, “it will surely lead to good, to more mutual understanding, to more trust.” 

While the COVID-19 pandemic has made Frank’s work more challenging, as he’s missing his time in Thelma’s Kitchen sitting with neighbors and listening to their stories, he said he is more inspired than ever by just how resilient his clients are. “We are all in this crazy pandemic together,” Frank said. “It’s truly a shared experience.”

However, he said, our clients are already so resilient, dealing with violence, poverty, discrimination, and isolation. “I am not seeing attitudes of fear or desperation so much,” he said. “I’m seeing bravery -- people getting up every day and having faith that things will get better, that the worst thing won’t be the last thing.” 

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Reconciliation Services remains open during this COVID 19 crisis, offering essential services like: case management, housing and utilities assistance, ID and document assistance, medical supplies, trauma and depression therapy, and free to-go lunches through Thelma’s Kitchen. Please consider supporting these vital services and donate today.

“A journey of love, empathy, and solidarity.”

By: Kyle Smith, Marketing Intern

Eight years. That’s how long one of our neighbors, we’ll call him Tom (not his real name), spent living in the woods around Kansas City until this week when, with the help of Kimberly Henderson, our Client Care Supervisor, he signed a lease on his very own apartment. With his key in hand and a safe place to call his own, Tom said it was like finding a sense of healing for the first time in nearly a decade. “I have a door I can lock,” he said. “I almost feel human again.”

“The work we do with our neighbors is a journey of love, empathy, and solidarity,” Henderson said. “I started working with this gentleman about a year ago. The first obstacle we had to overcome was his believing in himself.” 

Homelessness happens for any number of reasons. Addiction and severe mental health issues can be the culprit, but for Tom, and many others like him, a cascading series of difficult events resulted in a life on the streets. “He was distraught,” Henderson said, “and he had convinced himself that he was not worthy of housing. For him it wasn’t just about housing, but knowing that he understands that he deserves this, that he has a right to it.” 

Henderson said she met weekly with Tom over the past year. Each time they met, she helped him submit housing applications. Even as Tom received denial after denial, Henderson encouraged him to practice positive affirmations and she worked on helping him build his self confidence. 

“We gradually created trust with one another,” she said. “I’m in awe of his transformation and so blessed that I was able to play a small part in God’s work.”

Often when we talk about providing social services, it is easy to focus on the end result -- the apartment secured, the medicine or medical supplies delivered, the birth certificate or work permit provided. But each time a neighbor like Tom receives a needed service or item, we understand that often many hours (sometimes months and even years) of encouraging, listening, and advocating go into that victory. 

This will be the first Spring in nine years that Tom has had a roof overhead to protect against downpours, a door to close against the uncertainty of the outside, and an advocate like Henderson committed to encouraging him along the way. “Now that he has a home, we’re working next on him getting a job,” she said. 

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Reconciliation Services remains open during this COVID 19 crisis, offering essential services like: case management, housing and utilities assistance, ID and document assistance, medical supplies, trauma and depression therapy, and free to-go lunches through Thelma’s Kitchen. Please consider supporting these vital services and donate today. 

Follow King’s advice: Grapple with underlying causes of poverty

This commentary by Fr. Justin Mathews, RS Executive Director, originally appeared in The Kansas City Star on January 21, 2019.

From a Birmingham jail in 1963, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. wrote a letter on scraps of newsprint to so-called “moderate” white clergy.

While Dr. King languished in a jail cell for his convictions these clergy published an article in which they agreed with the cause of civil rights and economic inclusion for African Americans but were hostile to Dr. King’s timing and tactics. Dr. King responded saying, “I am sure that each of you would want to go beyond the superficial social analyst who looks merely at effects and does not grapple with underlying causes.” The key difference between the solution of these men and Dr. King’s was their different understanding of the roots of the problem.

Dr. King’s insight is worth meditating on as our city is still talking of solutions to domestic poverty, racism, housing affordability, etc. 

It’s challenging to move beyond superficial analysis as Dr. King urges us to do. This is especially the case with problems as complex as domestic poverty. After many years of discussing this with others in my role as a nonprofit leader and priest I can say with confidence that most people assume that poverty is ultimately rooted in a lack of material things and laziness. Therefore, if we can give the poor more of the things they need and combat laziness we can solve poverty, right? I believe these are symptoms of poverty, not its underlying causes.

Acts of compassion and charity help the poor to survive today with more dignity and are certainly necessary, however, they never seem to make a big enough dent, move the needle, or offer lasting change. They address symptoms but not the root cause. As we invest to fix the effects of poverty in one area we disinvest in another and the cycle starts again across town. We never seem to route the roots of poverty as we intend.

What Dr. King knew from lived experience of segregation and what I believe having listened to the family stories of hundreds of our neighbors in need is this: domestic poverty has largely grown from the tangled roots of racial discrimination and the scarred soil of economic disinvestment. These are the forces that created the conditions for multigenerational poverty and trauma that we now see in neighborhoods struggling to survive and succeed. There have been enough editorials in the newspapers about the history of streets like Troost Avenue in Kansas City, redlining, and segregation to support my historical analysis.

Without meaningfully addressing these real historical underlying causes of poverty where they still exist, and their many lasting effects on communities, our solutions to poverty will always fall short of our best intentions. So, how do we take Dr. King’s advice and grapple with these underlying causes?

First, invest significant community assets in developing new local social ventures. We must invest in emerging models that push the bounds of business returns towards social dividends and pull the nonprofit heart strings towards entrepreneurship and self-sustainability. Businesses, nonprofits, and neighborhoods should work to establish win-win hybrid solutions for our community by proliferating the number of social ventures that bring together the best of business, faith, and philanthropy to benefit all. This is urgent— especially where needed redevelopment threatens to displace or exclude the most vulnerable and longtime residents. The market is an amoral force. It takes moral men and women to bend the market to moral aims that benefit all.

Second, counteract community disinvestment with many small acts of sacrificial personal investment. While we can’t always influence those who do not share our perspective on poverty we can counteract community disinvestment with our own intentionality and sacrifices. Dr. King knew that solving the underlying causes of domestic poverty would take even greater personal sacrifice from all Americans than did the fight for civil rights. This was the genesis of the “Poor People’s Campaign” set to launch but then halted by his assassination. We take up this work again and live in solidarity with the poor in our community by investing in the people in our own neighborhoods, trying to forgive and remain in relationship with a difficult neighbor, seeking to understand the family stories and perspectives of new and different neighbors, sharing generously even when our resources are scarce, and so on.

Third, seek out “creative tension” that can awaken a moral conscience. We can quite easily live in neighborhoods, attend schools, walk in social circles where everyone is just like us. We are no longer segregated by law but by choice and by economics. In order to participate in real solutions that benefit the entire community, there has to be tension, honest conversation, an understanding of the right root causes of the problem of poverty. The challenges of gentrification and affordability are very present moral, political, spiritual, and economic dilemmas in our city, but they also present opportunities to get creative, take direct action, and seek new solutions that awaken our moral conscience. These conflicts are our golden opportunity to foster what Dr. King called “creative tension” that can stir us from “do-nothing-ism” and “lukewarm-ism” to reconciliation.

In order to solve the problem of domestic poverty we have to rightly analyze its underlying causes so that we can support meaningful solutions. We don’t just need economic development, but do-no-harm development strategies. We don’t just need charitable work but a personal commitment to see each other charitably, as family. I believe now is the time to grapple with the real underlying issues of poverty, growing new solutions from the roots up, not the symptoms down so that all may prosper.

"My life ... a victory story."

“I lived in a dope house when I was eight years old,” Angela remembers. “I try not to think about it too much. Things are so much better now.”

For Angela, she has to work hard minute by minute to put life in perspective. She has come so far from her life of addiction. She remembers a time when the meth she craved seemed to be the only thing she could think about. She wrote poetry to help her work through the emotions and the struggles of that time and what it took for her to break free (see Angela’s poem below).

Before the dope house, Angela and her younger brother witnessed their father getting shot and dying right in front of them. She was seven years old.

“I have been through a lot, but who hasn’t,” she says. “I have PTSD, anxiety … It was pretty horrific.”

“My mom has never done drugs, but her boyfriend sold drugs and he went to prison,” Angela says. “I had the wild streak though. I started doing drugs.”

“I lost everything. I lost my home. I lost my marriage. I’ve lost relationships with my family and with friends. I lost my kids for 2 and a half years,” she says.

When she went to jail for two weeks for a drug possession charge things changed. “I planned on getting out and things not getting any better, but the only way I could get out without paying the $10,000 cash was to do a bed date … I went to rehab for 16 days successfully and was released.”

“I often look back from time to time just to reflect,
These memories and experiences keep me on track, I suspect.
My resentments have built over a lifetime I know,
But I have to learn how to forgive in order to let go.
I have to force my way through my fears each day,
With tear filled eyes I hit my knees and pray.
I ask God for the courage that I know is deep inside,
As I negotiate once again with my foolish pride.
I’m ashamed of many things I’ve done and the ways I’ve acted,
If only I could have realized all the lives that were being impacted.
I’ve learned to adjust my standards and my expectations,
I’ve also learned how to cope with triggers and temptations.
I’m working on building and enforcing healthy boundaries all around,
All of these things have helped me in my recovery, I have found.
By working the steps, I have truly been inspired,
For I have found a life I’ve always desired.
I am free from the chains of my past,
And I am finally able to live at last.”

— A Poem By Angela Herndon

A month and a half later, Angela made the decision on her own to go back to rehab and she stayed for six months. That is where her way of thinking, her choices, her way of life really was challenged and she began to see her life ahead in a more positive light. She still had 32 months of probation to serve because of the drug charge, but she was clean and on track to get her children back.

One day she was sitting and talking with her probation officer about work options and he recommended she go through the Culinary Cornerstones program with NourishKC, a Reconciliation Services’ partner organization. She learned basic culinary skills, got her food handler’s certification, and began interning at Thelma’s Kitchen at Reconciliation Services. After her five week internship in Thelma’s Kitchen, she was hired on as Kitchen Assistant.

“I do have a passion for cooking,” she said. “Growing up … I don’t come from money at all.” Angela said she remembers mostly eating McDonald’s or Pizza Hut. “My mom would cook, but she never used fresh garlic. She never used fresh herbs. When she did cook, it was only with salt, pepper and garlic powder.”

She said she loves being at Thelma’s Kitchen. She loves getting to cook and try her hand at new recipes. “This place means a lot to me. I have learned a lot and I love the people here.”

However, this isn’t the end for her. “I hope someday I am able to open my own restaurant. I want to go to college,” she said. “I want to be a chef. I want to go a lot further, but I am grateful for where I have been and where I am now.”

“I’ve had a rough life,” Angela said. “When I was at my worst in my addiction I was afraid I would die like that, but I was even more afraid that I was going to live like that forever. I didn’t know any other way to live”

Life is different for Angela now. Being clean, having her kids back, being employed, being surrounded by positive people, having goals … “I have a lot more clarity now … I see things really differently. Before, I lived in such a small world in my head. Now, there are so many doors open to me.”

“My life … I don’t consider it a sob story. I consider it more of a victory,” she said.

At Reconciliation Services, we strive daily in our interactions with our neighbors, guests, clients, interns, and volunteers, to see their strength. Sometimes strength is hidden beneath years of struggle, addiction, or trauma, but we believe it is there waiting to be revealed. Everyone has a “victory” story waiting to be written!

Click here for a short video about Angela!

Love to the End

A reflection by Fr. Justin Mathews, Executive Director, on the power of love in action.

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Mother Maria of Paris

“No amount of thought will ever result in any greater formulation than the three words, ‘Love one another,’ so long as it is love to the end and without exceptions.”

This is a quote from one of my heroes. Mother Maria of Paris was an Orthodox Christian nun who cared for the poor and who was martyred in Ravensbruck concentration camp in 1945. Her life and writings have taught me so much about love.

Loving people is really hard work - especially people whose life or values are different than ours. “Love” is a strained word - stretched beyond strength, said so freely that “love for one another” can sound more like pithy rhetoric than a solution. And yet, I believe only love truly carries us, heals us, redeems us in the end. Who hasn’t longed for a single kind word on a dark day? Whose heart hasn’t softened when someone walked beyond what’s polite to the stretch of rough road that lies between today’s promise and tomorrow’s provision? In a race where hope and despair are neck and neck, love for one another makes all the difference. Love never fails.

Our work at Reconciliation Services becomes that love for those we serve -- enough love to listen to all; enough love to co-labor to find a solution; enough love for those whose journey to healing is long and unsure. Love to the end and without exceptions.

For some, love and healing begins with short-term urgent needs: providing ID and document assistance, assistance paying rent or utility bills, paying for a prescription, or offering a hot nutritious meal. These interactions may be short but the love we share in these vulnerable moments often leads to trust and deeper sharing. For these guests we can build transformational relationships through our REVEAL trauma and depression therapy program, our community volunteers at Thelma’s Kitchen, and our Foster Grandparents Program.

I want to tell you about two sisters who reveal the power of this love in action. Sonya and Tykeiaa both came to RS in need of a little help. When Sonya relocated to Kansas City, she was struggling to find a way to pay for the many medications she needed. Your gifts enabled us to help her buy those medications and put her resources towards finding employment and settling into a new home. She is now employed full-time.

“Reconciliation Services is well know in the community for helping people … It’s a good safe place… The case managers follow up and go out of their way to help.” ~ Sonya Nicholson

Tykeiaa walked further with our team. Her ID was stolen while staying at an area shelter. When she came to RS, one of our team was there to really listen to her story and understand how we could best support her. First, we helped her get her ID, prescription glasses, and needed medications. Then we were able to help her take meaningful steps towards healing through our trauma and depression therapy program.

There are hundreds in our community, just like Sonya and Tykeiaa, whose lives are being transformed by radical love. As I reflect back on our work today and the life of Mother Maria, I am continually strengthened by her example of both loving leadership and courageous service against all odds. She stands among many others who inspire our work here at Reconciliation Services: Martin Luther King, Jr., Dorothy Day, and Gandhi, to name a few. Each worked in his or her own context as a prominent and active supporter of equality. Each labored to restore the dignity of the human person. Today, we feel that our work on Troost Avenue is a continuation of their legacy.

Thank you for your support, which is enabling us to love… to the end and without exception.

To read more about the amazing life of Mother Maria, see this beautiful article by Jim Forest on the Saint of the Open Door.

Laboring Together To Shape History

A speech delivered by Fr. Justin Mathews, RS Executive Director, at the 6th Annual Troost Jazz & Soul Experience on April 28, 2018.

Welcome and thank you for being here tonight to support the work of Reconciliation Services at the 6th Annual Troost Jazz & Soul Experience!

Long ago, the writer of the book of Ecclesiastes said, “What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.” 

With these often quoted words of Scripture every generation is taught that we must labor to shape history because history’s shape is naturally circular. 

Each time we convince ourselves that through the trickle of time the shape of tomorrow will improve itself, by itself, the price we pay for repetition gets greater. If we desire the shape of our children's future to be more comley than our own past we must live and lead intentionally.  

So I have come here today not simply to share the inspiring outcomes of Reconciliation Services’ programs over the last year and to thank you for your generous support of this work, but to say that together, even if just on this one corner of our city, we are shaping history. We are keeping history from repeating itself on Troost, and in our country more broadly, at a time when there is a note of urgency.

At RS we see day in and day out the effects that poverty, discrimination, trauma, and depression have on some of our community’s most vulnerable. That’s why we are here.

We work to seek racial and economic reconciliation one heart at a time, through strengths-based Healthy Community Initiatives, Social and Mental Health Services, and Economic Community Building. Our continuum of care offers a tested template for community healing tailored to help the most difficult-to-reach in a supportive and culturally competent environment. 

Your support of RS helped care for over 5,225 people last year! You helped us:

• provide 19,000 hot, nutritious meals

• offer 5,100 hours of caring Case Management

• provide 1,465 Birth Certificates & IDs

• provide $110,000 in Rent & Utilities assistance

• provide $250,000 dental/medical assistance through the KC Medicine Cabinet

• offer 83 men and women over 1,200 hours of life changing trauma therapy

• enable 87 Foster Grandparents to volunteer over 82,000 hours in 30 schools, giving hope to children with exceptional needs

Each moment of care, each work of mercy, each act of compassion you gave was a moment of solidarity where you stood with a neighbor in need and opened up pathways of healing that exist no other way but in this way, that we love one another.
 
It is no secret that the landscape of Troost is changing fast and many are excited to see progress. I’ve even heard it said, “Troost is all but done, let’s move on.”  

But knowing the nature of history, how can we be sure we are not repeating the mistakes that long ago cast Troost as the dividing line of our city? 

Knowing the nature of history, are we sure the conditions of families that have sweltered in the heat of poverty for generations are finding relief? 

Knowing the nature of history, are we confident we have done all we can do to love our neighbor? For shaping history may not be as simple as some think. Consider the striking similarities between Troost yesterday and today...

Yesterday on Troost, 100 human beings suffered the brutal yoke of slavery on Rev. Porter’s plantation. Today, in the top 10 zip codes RS serves along Troost thousands of families are still suffering the yoke of poverty and trauma. 

But we imagine a Troost of tomorrow where we set the GPS of our priorities and civic policies to direct us towards love for our neighbor as our ultimate destination; a Troost where we become truly free. 

For as Nelson Mandela said, “To be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

Yesterday, Troost was known as Millionaire’s Row, a place where only the wealthiest in Kansas City lived. Today, the largely market-driven development on Troost is pushing property values sky high again and making even student or middle income housing hard to find. 

But we imagine a Troost of tomorrow where all can afford a place to live. A Troost where citizens take the time to plan together and build economically and racially diverse neighborhoods as a superior growth model for the health of the whole city. 

As Jane Jacobs, social activist and journalist, said, “Cities have the capability of providing something for everybody, only because, and only when, they are created by everybody.”

Yesterday, Troost was set ablaze during the Holy Week riots of 1968 after the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King. Today, the memory of those days and subsequent dismantling of our city’s urban core still fuels the fear that keeps us divided. 

But we imagine a Troost of tomorrow where we began to heal from the wounds inflicted by racism, classism and individualism; A Troost where we face our fear of each other. 

For as the American novelist and social critic, James Baldwin, once wrote, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” 

The reality that is unfolding before us now as the east side is redeveloped is that while economic development is underway rent is rising but wages are stagnant. A mass transfer of ownership is being transacted but the capital gains are primarily being realized by one community. The increase in the standard of living in one part of the city is resulting in a decrease of the standard of living for the poor who now are struggling to remain in their neighborhoods.

Therefore, we are working to cultivate a healthy community with those who have suffered the long dying of poverty and promise of treatments that alleviate symptoms but never deliver a cure. That is because the cure is not programmatic but personal. It is not a diet from indifference but a decision we all make to live differently. 

Tonight I am honored to introduce you to one courageous woman, a dear friend, whose 20 year journey to discover her strength and find deep healing for her wounded heart is proof that healing is possible for all of us. 

Please join me in honoring Nora tonight. Nora would you please stand… [See Video here: Reveal Strength - Nora]

Nora’s journey with RS from homeless to homeowner, from wounded heart to wounded healer, shows that when people find love and belonging at RS they magnify that that love and belonging to others. Transformation is happening one heart at a time. 

What we need is a healing movement in Kansas City; a movement born not from momentary religious or political zeal but from the firm conviction that each of us is called to take up a new manner of living, thinking and doing such things as are well pleasing to God and grounded in love. 

The devastation of trauma is the sharpening stone of poverty that cuts across race, gender, age, class and geography. So this movement must be about healing the trauma that continues to devastate poor neighborhoods in Kansas City, but it must also be about offering healing to the wealthy and those whose wounds are more easily hidden. 

All of us have been wounded by poverty and all of us have participated somehow in the wounding because we’ve been taught lies about poverty, race and place - some of which we are still unlearning.

We must be reconciled with each other. And this requires moving now from an institutional approach where organizations take action to a personal approach where organizations set the stage for people from our divided communities to take action together.

The work of RS has always centered around building relationships. It all started with food, when the primary outreach work of RS to the community 30 years ago was feeding the hungry out of a humble kitchen. That was our starting point for reconciliation -- food and community. 
 
Tonight I’m excited to share with you the next step in our mission to shape history, cultivate healthy community, care for the poor and reveal the strength in each other. I’m pleased to announce the launch of “Thelma’s Kitchen”. [Click here to watch Thelma’s Kitchen Video]
 
With your support tonight Thelma’s Kitchen will build upon our mission to transform Troost from a dividing line to a gathering place revealing the strength of all. In many ways it is a symbol of how we think community development can be done together. 
 
It is our stake in the ground that says we will not be moved from this place or deterred from our mission. 
 
It is our “come as you are” sign promising welcome and refuge for all.
 
It is our demand of those pushing progress to slow down enough to value people more than progress. 
 
It is our moral accounting that recognizes cash can’t heal the blight of the heart that makes even the rich poor, for that requires consciousness, commitment, capacity and connectedness. 
 
And most of all, it is our tribute to the life and love of Thelma who taught us radical love of God and our neighbor.
 
Thank you.
 

**Watch an excerpt below of this speech captured via Facebook Live! 

Accessing Life: How Having an ID Changes Everything

When you think of someone who may need help getting their birth certificate or ID, who do you picture? Do you picture a woman who has fled domestic abuse and knows she cannot go back home because it's not safe? Do you picture a man desperate to apply for a job, but the car he has been living out of was stolen along with all of his personal papers and belongings? Do you picture a woman trying to rebuild her life after serving time in jail? Do you picture a homeless woman trying to get a copy of her birth certificate but not having an address to mail it to? Do you picture a displaced single mother needing to get her kids' birth certificates so she can enroll them in school?  

We have seen all of these situations at Reconciliation Services, people walking through our doors, hoping we could help them get that piece of paper or little plastic card that could set them on the path to self-sufficiency or rebuilding what they had lost. 

However, not everyone we serve is poor, homeless, or desperate. We have also helped people that may simply need some caring direction and information about how to access their documents.

When Diane Charity first came to Reconciliation Services, she was inquiring about document needs for some students she was working with at Cristo Rey. Herself a community activist, as the president of the Manheim Neighborhood Association and chairman of the Community Advisory Board for KCPT, Diane knew that RS was an invaluable resource for the community.

“In May 2008 my mother passed,” Diane said. “I didn’t realize it at the time, but my driver’s license had expired. I was 58 and I hadn’t needed to produce my birth certificate for anything that I could remember. Of course, I knew my mother had to have one, but I couldn’t ask her where it was.” 

Diane said she decided to go ahead and request one from New York State where she was born. 

“They had given me a form and a list of things that I would need in order to get my birth certificate,” Diane said. “I filled out the forms and put in my mother’s maiden name, my dad’s name, and the rest of the information. But they said, ‘no, that’s not your mother’s maiden name.’”

Diane was at a loss. She went back and forth with the office in New York and tried to figure out why they didn’t recognize her mother’s first name. She wasn’t sure what to do next.

That’s when she decided to go back to the place that had been such a great resource for her when she had tried to help others, Reconciliation Services.

“So, I went up to Reconciliation Services and asked them what I should do,” Diane said. “They told me what I was going to have to do. Since I couldn’t prove my mother’s maiden name, I was going to have to provide proof of who I was. I was going to have to request a letter from my congressman, provide verification of where I lived. It was quite a process. But, at least at Reconciliation Services I got help figuring out what I needed in a friendly manner. They really helped me with the whole process. They allayed my fears and showed me how to get what I needed.”

With a little help navigating the process and patience from caring RS staff, Diane was able to get her birth certificate so she could renew her driver’s license. 

RS will provide nearly 1,400 IDs and birth certificates in 2017 and we have become one of the largest providers of document and ID assistance in the state of Missouri. We have seen firsthand the importance of that birth certificate and ID in order to access health care, housing, school enrollment, visiting a sick kid in the hospital, opening a bank account, voting, and so much more.

“I was so happy to know that RS was right there at 31st and Troost, with a whole lot of resources available to help. It’s like one of the best kept secrets in town,” she said. “You can get the help you need and it isn’t degrading. At RS they are kind and patient and will walk with you through the whole process.”

Walking “with” someone in the process is what sets RS apart. We don’t just offer a voucher or payment for a document. Our caring case workers help clients navigate through paperwork, offer guidance, and often advocate for them with other agencies.  

Even an active and dynamic community advocate like Diane may need a little support at times. “At Reconciliation Services I felt like they really cared about me. It really renewed my faith in humanity. It is good to be reminded how valuable each person is,” she said. 

Thriving, vibrant community life shouldn’t just be reserved for some. When everyone, the whole community, has access to the same services, privileges and rights, we will be a healthier, more engaged city.

Join us in seeing the strength of our community revealed as we strive to ensure that all its members can participate, sharing their hopes, their experiences and their lives. Learn more about the “I’D Be Campaign” and consider giving a little so that someone can get their ID today!
 

Senior Citizens in Service: Foster Grandparents Have Much To Offer Our Community

Vibrant community cannot happen in isolation. However, for many of our senior citizens, isolation, lack of transportation, and limited social and service opportunities prevents them from participating in and contributing to community life.  

A recent University of California, San Francisco study showed that nearly 20 percent of senior citizens live alone and 40 percent experience persistent loneliness. Research published in Health Psychology also shows that seniors who are isolated are at higher risks for illness, cognitive decline, stroke, and obesity. It even states that loneliness is as damaging to one’s health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. 

And yet, we know that our older community members have so much to offer. At Reconciliation Services we are engaging our older community members and encouraging them to draw from their many years of knowledge, skills and experience and volunteer with at risk young people in area schools, early childhood centers, Children’s Mercy Hospital, and Family Court.

“The RS Foster Grandparents Program pours into qualified low-income older adults who have so much to give back. We enable them to go out and mentor kids with exceptional needs and help make a positive change in our community,” said Summer Griffith, RS Foster Grandparents Program Director. “We do it through our monthly inservices, training and recognition events, community partnerships through school districts, early childhood care centers, and other community organizations.”

The RS Foster Grandparents Program of Jackson, Clay and Platte Counties provides a small pre-tax supplemental stipend, and equips them to provide support, kindness and encouragement for children with critical social, emotional and educational needs. The program is part of the larger Senior Corps initiative, which engages American adults age 55 and older in meaningful volunteer opportunities. 

More than 85 RS Foster Grandparents are in schools, early childhood centers, hospitals, and family court from North Kansas City to the Hickman Mills School District. They volunteer throughout Jackson, Clay and Platte Counties in over 30 locations. They live and serve in our community and they give their best to kids in our community day after day. 

“The kids our Foster Grandparents work with often have language deficiencies, are emotionally traumatized, some have mental and physical disabilities, some may be in the foster care system, and all are in desperate need of the love and stability a mentoring senior adult can offer,” Griffith said. “RS Foster Grandparents model love, acceptance, hard work, the value of education, service and leadership, and they offer the one-on-one support that helps these kids grow emotionally and cognitively. We talk about not just letting them know college is an option, but asking them ‘Where are you going to college?’”

By partnering with teachers, administrators and site supervisors, we use evidence-based programming to measure outcomes. We are looking to make a real and sustainable impact in the lives of these young people. 

In the early childhood centers, pre-K programs and daycare settings, Foster Grandparent volunteers focus on developing the emotional health of the children. Foster Grandparents are paired with children who need individual attention and work on school readiness, anger management, friendship and relationship skills, coping skills, and other critical developmental building blocks that are necessary for success.   

For Kindergartners through high schoolers, RS Foster Grandparents focus on improving educational engagement, specifically working towards more class participation, assignment completion, fewer absences, less need for discipline, and adopting an overall positive attitude towards learning. 

The RS Foster Grandparents volunteering at Children’s Mercy Hospital and at the Family Court offer comfort and emotional support for children in the midst of difficult circumstances. Grandma Lucille has been volunteering at the Family Court for over 20 years and at 93 years old, she still gets down on the floor to listen to and play with the kids. 

This important involvement in the lives of young people and the sense of purpose in the community is improving the lives of our senior volunteers. According to the Quality of Life Index measurement, more than 80 percent of Foster Grandparent volunteers reported a greater sense of well-being because of volunteering. 

The effect of this one-on-one care and attention also has a profound effect on our youth. A report by MENTOR: The National Mentoring Partnership showed that at-risk youth who met regularly with a mentor were 55 percent more likely to enroll in college; 78 percent  more likely to volunteer their own time; 130 percent more likely to hold leadership positions; 52 percent less likely to skip school; and had fewer recurring behavior problems.  

“As a first generation college graduate myself, I know first hand the importance of older adults and mentors in my life,” Griffith said. “They played a vital role in my life and helped keep me on the right path during tough times. I had older adults who believed in me when I didn’t yet believe in myself.”

Healthier and happier seniors and youth make for healthier and happier communities. 

Are you interested in learning more about how to become a Foster Grandparent or do you want to see how you can help support seniors who are volunteering in our community? Contact Summer Griffith, RS Foster Grandparents Program Director

Click here for more information about the requirements and benefits of the RS Foster Grandparents Program. And click on their names to hear from some of our RS Foster Grandparents: Grandpa Jerry, Grandma Juanita, and Grandma Sims.

Battling the Stigma of Mental Health Issues: Men Supporting Men

Many in our community are not only battling the after effects of trauma but they also have to push through negative stigmas of mental health problems in order to find help and healing.

Nearly all Reconciliation Services (RS) clients suffer from various combinations of mental illness, lack of education, unemployment or underemployment, homelessness, and social isolation. Anonymous self-reporting by RS clients indicates that 59% witnessed violence recently; 53% are victims of violence; 36% have been convicted of a crime; 5% are currently in a gang; 69% use tobacco; 14% use illegal drugs; and 6% feel in danger at home.

These very troubling assessments and the great need for effective support and therapy made it crucial for RS to launch our SnAP (Strength eNergy And Power) women’s program in 2011 as a way to help women work through the trauma and depression that many women in our community were experiencing. This one-of-a-kind program was piloted in collaboration with Jackson County Cares Mental Health Fund and is now funded by JCCMHF, the Health Care Foundation of Greater Kansas City, and Humana. It is promoted and facilitated in the context of community fellowship and encouragement through group meetings.

We refer to our SnAP program as “stealth mental health” because this group setting, although run by a clinical therapist using proven evidence-based practices and clinical measures, functions as the “camouflage” to allow this therapy to fly under the radar of the deeply entrenched stigma of mental health in the African American community.

We witnessed again and again the success of the individual women who graduated from the SnAP group and we were confronted with a growing awareness of the need for mental health services for men as well  in the surrounding neighborhoods.

With each graduating class of the women's SnAP group, we saw the men in their lives as well as other clients and neighbors who visited in our RS Cafe ask if there was a group available for the men. These men were  bearing witness to the change and success that they were seeing in the women, and naturally wanted the opportunity for themselves!

It was in the context of this growing local awareness that it became increasingly obvious that there was a need for the SnAP program to expand its reach to the men in our area. In 2017, due to extended funding for the program, RS was able to expand the SnAP program to include a men’s support group.

As community advocates and social workers, we were aware of several key issues that warranted the development of a men’s component of SnAP. The US Department of Health and Human Services Office of Minority Health related some staggering survey data that revealed Black men, more than White and Hispanic men, said they experienced feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, and that they find everything requires great emotional effort.

This data confirms what we at RS understand and witness daily. Moreover, we recognize  that the root cause of these issues originates from profound trauma individuals face in the neighborhoods we serve. For both the men and women of our community here at 31st and Troost, the impact of trauma is deeply felt, but not obvious or easily identifiable. The reason for this is largely due to the pronounced stigma of both mental health and receiving mental health services in the African American community. This stigma is made all the worse when speaking to men. The messages that men receive from their communities, often leads them to believe that seeking help for their mental health is a sign of weakness. For many men we serve at RS, the mere thought of weakness can keep them from the life changing effects of therapy and mental health services.

Now with our men’s SnAP program, the men of this community can lean on each other without shame and dig deep into the issues that haunt them, in order to reveal the their hidden strength.

Written By: Father Deacon Turbo Qualls, Therapy Program Assistant, Intensive Case Manager

 

See stories of strength from these SnAP participants: Cassandra, Nora, and Bridgette.