By: Kyle Smith, Marketing Intern
How are you holding up during the shelter at home order? Do you feel resilient or resigned? When you are resilient you are able to withstand and/or recover quickly from difficult conditions. We asked Sylvia Goodloe, Mental Health Services Manager and Clinical Therapist here at Reconciliation Services, to share some tips for resilient living.
Sylvia Goodloe (top center) with a REVEAL Women’s Therapy Group
At 18 years old, Goodloe said she felt called to the field of social work. “I personally receive a great sense of joy and peace knowing that I am fulfilling my purpose by giving myself to others,” she said. “Social Work is a passion for me because I get to be with people in their most trying times, offering hope, friendship, love, and help when it’s needed most."
“Life can get difficult at times, but we can learn how to navigate these stressful times successfully without losing our peace and joy,” Goodloe said.
Here are her Four Tips to Staying Resilient During Troubling Times:
1. Watch your Thoughts
During tough times, it’s easy to have negative thoughts – it's just too much... I can’t do this... I won’t make it. We must watch out for negative thinking. Our thoughts are powerful. We can think ourselves into a mess, or we can think ourselves into a place of peace and victory.
One thing is sure, positive thinking doesn't just happen, it's something we have to do on purpose. The moment you find yourself thinking negative, self-defeating thoughts, try to intentionally replace them with something positive -- I’ve made it this far … I’m strong and capable … I will get through this. You have to intentionally turn your thoughts around.
2. Stay Calm and Live On
Whether they’re happy, sad, positive, or negative, often our feelings are allowed to have too much influence over us. Staying in control of your emotions is essential for resilient living.
Our feelings are important. They can show us the depth of our sadness and the height of our joy, but they don’t define us.
Recognize when your mood changes. How does it feel in your body?
Name your feelings – it’s important to identify it and call it what it is (rage, fear, hope, etc.).
Don’t judge yourself for having specific thoughts or feelings.
See a feeling for what it is – just a feeling. It isn’t a definition of you. It is a feeling and it will likely change.
3. Be Adaptable
So there we all were, happily and steadily going about life when everything changed -- work schedules, kids’ schooling, access to normal life-giving experiences like going to the gym, eating at restaurants, gathering with friends and family at church. Suddenly we are being asked to do things differently and we really don’t want to. Change can be particularly hard to accept when it is forced upon us. In order to withstand and recover, we have to adapt our expectations. We may have had to let go of control over many things, but there is much that is still within our control. How can we adapt our expectations of control right now? Focus on the things that you can control -- your attitude, what you read, who you talk to, what you watch -- and remember things won’t be like this forever.
4. Recharge
There’s a reason that mental health professionals champion self care -- it has a dramatic effect on one’s mental health. Our machines have to be recharged and need software updates for optimal performance. Why should we think differently about our own mind, body, and soul. Use this disruption in your life to evaluate old habits and establish new (healthier) ones. What recharges you? Self care, recharging, is essential to resilient living. How can you make it a priority beyond the COVID 19 crisis? And, if you have lost access to some of your previous go-tos, try some of these:
Read a novel from a genre you’ve never tried
Make something - a craft, a food, a piece of art, music, etc.
Dance
Take photographs and/or look through old photos
Relax in the park
Cuddle and play with a pet
Take vitamins
Burn candles
Draw and/or paint
Take a long hot bath
Meditate
Stretch
Watch a good movie
It is important to keep in mind that even though there might be physical distance between one another right now, you are not alone. We are resilient when we withstand and recover -- and we need each other for that. If you find yourself in need of someone to talk to or needing some comfort and encouragement during this time, reach out to the team here at Reconciliation Services. Our licensed counselors are here to help. 816-931-4751 x211.
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Reconciliation Services remains open during this COVID 19 crisis, offering essential services like: case management, housing and utilities assistance, ID and document assistance, medical supplies, trauma and depression therapy, and free to-go lunches through Thelma’s Kitchen. Please consider supporting these vital services and donate today.